Acceptance: Redefining the definition

I just read an incredible essay written by a parent of a child with special needs on acceptance. I have posted some excerpts from the essay. I encourage all parents regardless of the diagnosis to read and contemplate. Please click  here for the entire essay.

-Acceptance is when a person agrees to experience a situation, to follow a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit. 

Implied is a willingness, a belief and an understanding of the reception. Also implied is the condition of not attempting to change, protest or exit. Given that definition and the totallity of the word, how can we accept without attempting to change or protest? We can’t ….but we can create our own definition of “acceptance” one in its truest form.

-Acceptance takes time. Accepting a diagnosis is one thing, accepting the life the diagnosis will bring is something completely different and much more important. When I speak of acceptance I am speaking of accepting the full magnitude of the situation. The acceptance that there are some things you will be able to do to make changes, improvements, triumphs and gains and there will be others, that for no lack of effort, will remain.

-The acceptance that your purpose in life has changed.   Accepting life as you knew it has changed.  Your day to day routine has changed.  Your marriage has changed.  Your parenting style has changed.  The life your other children will lead has changed.  Your comfort zone has changed. Your world has changed.  Accepting the diagnosis is the easy part, its accepting the life unexpected that truly takes time and work.

-Accept what you cant change and change what you can’t accept. Trying to change the unchangeable is not the solution, in fact, it is the problem. Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect (or the masses perception of perfect) it means you have made a conscious decision to look past the imperfections and difficult adjustments in your life, accept them and live with strength and calm with your life unexpected. That to me is happiness. 

Know that with every gain will come immeasurable rewards. With the negatives will come the positives and you will have a greater understanding of love, patience and compassion than most could ever dream of.

*With acceptance will come the peace that all special needs parents need to continue on this incredible journey.