It's that time again: What "Back to School"
means for many families
This annual 'end of summer' shift can signify of myriad of
changes for teens, including entering high school, enrolling in a new school,
transitioning from wilderness to residential placement, reintegrating back into
school or college after a therapeutic school, and various other
anxiety-producing adjustments.
For some, the end of summer simply means getting back into
the swing of things and becoming accustomed to the routine and structure of
school after a summer of leisure, play, or work.
Whatever the change, parents often wonder how best to
support their child through this time. Similarly, parents may also struggle
with their own end of summer shift in environment and feel a heightened sense
of uncertainty and apprehension during this time.
Below are several helpful suggestions for easing into a new
school year:
1. Check in with your kids about how they are handling the
upcoming (or current!) change. Be aware of body language and subtleties that
may alert you to their true level of anxiety or stress.
2. Create a routine. On some level, we all crave structure.
Especially adolescents--even if they claim otherwise. Provide several
predictable and stable daily activities your family can count on and be
accountable for.
3. Set boundaries. Curfews and time with friends most likely
will look different during the school year than it did during summer. Be firm.
Expect pushback.
4. Be on the lookout for signs that your child (or yourself)
is having a difficult time adjusting...Isolation, irritability, changes in
friends, reluctance to go to school, and secretiveness can all be signs of
struggle.
5. Especially if your child is re-entering 'traditional'
school after a therapeutic placement, be aware that this transition is in and
of itself stressful and potentially intimidating. The 'safety net' of their
therapeutic environment is no longer there and your student may feel
vulnerable, unsure, and highly susceptible to old patterns.
6. Let go of your expectations. Yes, we mean it. Transitions
are messy and clinging to a belief of how things are 'supposed' to look is
counterproductive. Practice boundaries and accountability, without losing
flexibility and the acknowledgment that things don't have to be perfect.
7. If you hoped/expected your child to be home for the start
of the new school year and it didn't happen, acknowledging your feelings about
this is a must. It is ok to be disappointed, sad, or frustrated...It is not ok
to pull them early to satisfy these uncomfortable and difficult emotions.
8. Personal consistency is key, especially in times of
external or environmental change. Fluctuating on household or family
expectations, rules, or limits sends conflicting and anxiety-producing
messages. In two-parent households, it is your job as parents to provide a
unified front. This means being proactive, communicating, and working through
parenting differences.
9. Be mindful of your own worries and emotional reactions
during this transitional time. "Back to school" can bring about
disruptive changes to your own daily routine, and often, increased time alone
during the day. Have a plan for what will fill your time, especially if this is
the first time your child has been away.
10. Stay present in the moment. Avoid looking too far into
the future and trying to predict what may happen. All of this planning and
strategizing will be in vain if you are not acutely aware of what is happening right
now in front of you.
Author: Emily Long for
Horizon Family Solutions
